Your giving has impacted my story.
My name is Cori. This is my Christmas story. I was the wayward daughter. I took one step down the wrong path that very quickly became the most treacherous fall I've ever taken. I didn't even realize I was lost until I tried to take my life six months into my relationship. That was the moment I knew my emotional state wasn't well and my relationship wasn't well.
I had been called names more than I was told "I love you." I was degraded and told my feelings didn't matter. I was made fun of for eating just every day food and for the way I looked so I came to a point of not being able to eat in the same room as him. I was accused of being crazy and out of line when I expressed my feelings because I was hurt by something he said. I was drowning and when I needed someone the most that fateful night, I was still so alone even though he was there.
I was controlled, manipulated, and was constantly walking on egg shells. I was stuck at home because if I went anywhere, I'd be accused of infidelity. Everything was drowned out except for my ex. My self image was completely destroyed with each name I was called and each time I was degraded and devalued. Slowly I only saw myself the way he saw me. And pretty soon I had lost all sight of the way I was seen in God's eyes.
I had been called names more than I was told "I love you." I was degraded and told my feelings didn't matter. I was made fun of for eating just every day food and for the way I looked so I came to a point of not being able to eat in the same room as him. I was accused of being crazy and out of line when I expressed my feelings because I was hurt by something he said. I was drowning and when I needed someone the most that fateful night, I was still so alone even though he was there.
I was controlled, manipulated, and was constantly walking on egg shells. I was stuck at home because if I went anywhere, I'd be accused of infidelity. Everything was drowned out except for my ex. My self image was completely destroyed with each name I was called and each time I was degraded and devalued. Slowly I only saw myself the way he saw me. And pretty soon I had lost all sight of the way I was seen in God's eyes.
Pretty soon my feelings didn't matter. Pretty soon I just stayed quiet even when I knew I needed to be heard. Pretty soon I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror. Pretty soon I wasn't me anymore.
I was the lost sheep. I had gotten so far off the path I was on, I was so lost and it was so dark, I couldn't even see where to go next.
I thought I had to have the perfect plan in place. I thought I had to have a job and a car and a place to stay lined up. So I stayed for six more months doing what I could to "fix" the problem and try to "fix" the person I was with. While at the same time, I was trying to figure out how to leave if all my attempts failed. But I was just going around in circles because I was trying to do it alone and fix a person who couldn't be fixed.
While so far gone, I still heard God's voice and He made it clear the time was now. There was no more time to try to get ready and get things in order. I had to take that leap and fully trust in God and that He was going to take care of it all. He said "I can't bless you while you are here but if you trust in my faithfulness, you won't suffer from the drought any longer"
And He has. Since taking that leap, I have been surrounded with the right people, the best church family, and have rebuilt relationships that needed to be restored in order for me to move forward. The scars are still there but day by day I have been able to start the journey of rebuilding myself. Each need has been supplied faithfully. Not a moment has gone by where I was in need. Each thing was covered. Things I didn't even know I needed were covered. He has carried me through. No matter how hard someone tried to "pluck me from God's hand" I still heard God's voice and came back to walk a life with the Father.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.” - John 10:27-29
I was the lost sheep. I had gotten so far off the path I was on, I was so lost and it was so dark, I couldn't even see where to go next.
I thought I had to have the perfect plan in place. I thought I had to have a job and a car and a place to stay lined up. So I stayed for six more months doing what I could to "fix" the problem and try to "fix" the person I was with. While at the same time, I was trying to figure out how to leave if all my attempts failed. But I was just going around in circles because I was trying to do it alone and fix a person who couldn't be fixed.
While so far gone, I still heard God's voice and He made it clear the time was now. There was no more time to try to get ready and get things in order. I had to take that leap and fully trust in God and that He was going to take care of it all. He said "I can't bless you while you are here but if you trust in my faithfulness, you won't suffer from the drought any longer"
And He has. Since taking that leap, I have been surrounded with the right people, the best church family, and have rebuilt relationships that needed to be restored in order for me to move forward. The scars are still there but day by day I have been able to start the journey of rebuilding myself. Each need has been supplied faithfully. Not a moment has gone by where I was in need. Each thing was covered. Things I didn't even know I needed were covered. He has carried me through. No matter how hard someone tried to "pluck me from God's hand" I still heard God's voice and came back to walk a life with the Father.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.” - John 10:27-29